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"I live on a ranch where there are lots of bears...there was one that learned how to open open door handles. It got in and the wind must have shut the door, it got into 3 other peoples cars before getting shut in mine. it drank 4 beers, ate a bottle of mallox, and crapped all over the place."
"I live on a ranch where there are lots of bears...there was one that learned how to open open door handles. It got in and the wind must have shut the door, it got into 3 other peoples cars before getting shut in mine. it drank 4 beers, ate a bottle of mallox, and crapped all over the place."
Bear in Jetta
This is why I wouldn't buy a Mk4, they're simple enough for even bears to figure out.
2002 Volkswagen Bora V5 - 2007 Mazda 3 GT - 1998 Ford Contour Sport - 2010 Volkswagen Jetta 2.0T - 2013 Volkswagen Passat 130TDI - 2015 Ford Escape 1.5 - 2016 Subaru WRX - 2018 Volkswagen Golf R Wolfsburg Wagon
The basic secret of carb function is that inside each carb are thousands of tiny gnomes; each with a small bucket. As you open the
throttle, more of these gnomes are allowed out of their house and into the float bowl, where they fill the buckets and climb up the carb's passages to the intake, where they empty their buckets into the air stream.
But, if you don't ride the bike for a while, bad things can happen.
Tiny bats take up residence in the chambers of the carb, and before
long the passages are plugged up with guano. This creates a gnome
traffic jam, and so not enough bucketfuls of fuel can get to the
engine. If it gets bad enough, the gnomes simply give up and go take a nap. The engine won't run at all at this point. Sometimes you'll hhave a single dedicated gnome still on the job, which is why the bike
will occasionally fire as the gnome tosses his lone bucket load down
the intake.
There has been some research into using tiny dwarves in modern carbs. The advantage is that unlike gnomes, dwarves are miners and can often re-open a clogged passage. Unfortunately, dwarves have a natural fear of earthquakes, as any miner should. In recent tests, the engine vibrations caused the dwarves to evacuate the Harley Davidson test vehicle and make a beeline for the nearest BMW dealership. Sadly, BMW's are fuel injected and so the poor dwarves met an unfortunate end in the rollers of a Bosch fuel pump.
Other carb problems can also occur. If the level of fuel in the float bowl rises too high, it will wipe out the poorer gnome housing in the lower parts of the carb. The more affluent gnomes build their homes in the diaphragm chamber, and so are unaffected. This is why the bike is said to be "running rich".
If the fuel bowl level drops, then the gnomes have to walk farther to
get a bucketful of fuel. This means less fuel gets to the engine.
Because the gnomes get quite a workout from this additional distance,
this condition is known as "running lean".
The use of the device known only as the 'choke' has finally been
banned by PETG (People for the Ethical Treatment of Gnomes) and
replaced by a new carb circuit that simply allows more gnomes to carry
fuel at once when the engine needs to start or warm up. In the
interests of decorum, I prefer not to explain how the 'choke'
operated. You would rather not know anyway.
So, that's how a carburetor works. You may wish to join us here next
week for basics of electricity, or "How your bike creates cold fusion
inside the stator, and why the government doesn't want you to know
about it."
MK2 - *Insert list of dealer purchased extra's/standard features here* 80 series - The MK2's BIG, Sooty, polar opposite... HAHAHA
So just to outline here - these are the makeshift helmets made by our Egyptian friends while they were scrapping in their current predicament again the puppet satellite administration installed by the US government three decades ago.
I shall guide you through these pieces of registered non-standard army kit:
Classic 1979 ‘Tribottle rag’ helmet - a must in any type of combat
A late '80s issue ‘boxhat’. The bloke next to him appears nonplussed of its effectiveness ("Hassan, take that ridiculous thing off...")
Renaissance period brickwear piece teamed with a black and cream scarf. Textbook Middle East riot gear
80’s broken bin helmet. Keeping it Old Skool... though I'm not sure that tuna sarnie he is about to lob is going to cause too much carnage?
I personally love the fact the dude needs to lift it up to see. He must spend the rest of his time walking into things.
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