detailed quirks on a current model Tiguan

[bsdnet]

I've said it once but I'll try again. If you want the handbrake to release with your seat belt OFF you simply have to do it manually, same as any other car with a manual handbrake. Just put your foot on the foot brake and press the handbrake switch down, voila, off you go. It's designed this way (with the footbrake/seatbelt interlock so the car won't run away if the driver is out of the seat and a child or pet or whatever stands on the handbrake switch. It's very sensible when you think about it.

Cheers

Thanks, sorry didn't read your previous post properly. Yeah that did work, I guess that was expected if it was a normal hand break. Thanks!

[NZTiguan]

Thanks, sorry didn't read your previous post properly. Yeah that did work, I guess that was expected if it was a normal hand break. Thanks!

You're welcome, I'm used to doing it a lot turning my irrigation on and off at a small block I own.

Cheers

[Dartiguan]

Quirk Report
With BiZenons and with the auto light on, if you turn off the engine and leave the car with the key in the ignition the parking lights remain on, if it is dusk or later.

The fuel cap is PLASTIC, talk about the lengths VW goes to save weight!!

The lumbar support in the electric seat goes up and down as well as in and out. Very impressive. Next model will include vibration I am sure.

[MGV]

How many others here have something within the B-pillar that clicks &/or creaks? Dunno if it's just the drivers side, or if i can only hear that one 'cause my ear's right next to it...

[aussietig]

How many others here have something within the B-pillar that clicks &/or creaks? Dunno if it's just the drivers side, or if i can only hear that one 'cause my ear's right next to it...

Now that you've mentioned it ... I've noticed it only recently on driver side as well.

Looks like VW gremlins are back!


I was impressed and relieved when I picked up my Wolfsburg built Tig that there weren't any rattles inside the cabin.

But compared to South African built Mk5 Golfs, I can live with this one!

The Golfs were just ridiculous! Hard to detect where the hell the noises were coming from.

But after a while ... I became quite good at it and a VW rattles whisperer (as well as a major client for Clark Rubber)!

[jcubed]

Emc

[SIZE="2"]

How about the one that says you shouldn't keep your phone in your trouser pocket, cause it'll fry your balls, but more importantly the tadpoles.

Especially thinking these days with these pocket WIFI devices and iPhone 4 that serves as a WIFI hub.

Dang! Wanted to respond to ausietigs statement above from a different thread, but now knowing that he just wants to do some light reading when he gets home - and I guess especially over the week-end - thought I would be considerate and post this thesis on the "quirks" thread, which is what it is.

But what do I find? Here he is again !

Sorry mate, skip to the next post, please .

Right then - not limited to the Tiguan, as the Freelander 2 does the same - here goes.

EMC = Electro-Magnetic Compatibility, or rather, in this case, Incompatibility.

Well, what does this mean? Ever notice the CE, GS, TUV or any of a host of other markings on portable electronic devices? It’s on your laptop power supply, your cell-phone charger, the food mixer, etc.

These are standards to which the various devices comply and (should) have been tested to, which means, amongst others, that when turning on this device, it will not electronically interfere with other electronic devices i.e. being compatible with it.

So if your wife switches on her hair drier, the TV picture does not go skew. Or uncle Phil’s cardioverter-defibrillator (OK then, pacemaker) does not attack him. A good safe-guard, one would agree.

Of course cars, also highly electronicised these days, have to comply to similar requirements. However ...

Regular exercisers will be familiar with heart rate monitors, such as the Polar 610i.

These HRMs work in conjunction with a chest strap, transmitting your heart rate at periodic intervals at a burst frequency of 5 kHz. The signal is of an electromagnetic nature and picked up at a distance of up to around 300mm from the chest. So your wrist receiver or gym treadmill can display/record this information in real time for an instant indication of effort, and also allow PC download and analysis at a later stage.

The basic formula for maximum heart rate is calculated by the watch as 220 minus your age, so depending on your fitness level and age (mine, anyway), I should be able to get to a heart rate of 168 beats per minute prior to being carried out on a stretcher.

I have found a way, however to increase this rate to 220 (easy!) even before I get to the gym. How, you may well ask? The answer is simple – by driving there in my Tiguan.

When you get into the car with your heart rate ticking over at sub -60, the moment the ignition is switched on the indication revs up to 210 - 230 bpm. The abundance of electromagnetic interference flying around in the cockpit, drowns out the Wearlink signal completely.

Now, if the over-reading was just a bit more realistic, say 85% of the max heart rate, one could (ab)use it to effortlessly exercise and earn points through the reward scheme of your gym franchise, in this case Vitality.

“I’m going to the gym, dear”, would take on a whole different meaning, just sitting in your car in the garage at home, listening to some relaxing music, having a beer and a really good chill. This may actually prove more beneficial to some people's health, rather than a strenuous work-out. No?

But trust the car manufacturer to go and completely overdo it!

Thinking further, this could actually be a world first in terms of automotive advertising: “Go Green! Buy our new model, and communicate with the dolphins and whales! “

After making this discovery - of unseen electronic fields flying around the inside of the car - I started wondering about which - possibly even larger - forces existed OUTSIDE the car.

Since then, as a precaution, one of my “pre-flight” checks prior to departing home for the gym, was to ensure that the sunroof was CLOSED, for fear of being beamed up by Scotty.

[Dartiguan]

Thanks for the effort that went into this jcubed. Funniest thing I have seen on VWH20. Makes me happy I didn't get a sunroof in this car.

[jcubed]

Wot ver zey zinking?

Hi Dartiguan,

Thanks for the kind words.

Here's another "quirk report" submitted to - and published by - a local motoring magazine.

I've found that to outright complain about something to a manufacturer (VW, specifically) does not deliver results, so tried to make my complaint more readable in reporting the shortcoming to the public to which the information may be not only be useful, but crucial.

Members of the mytiguan forum may have seen this prior to it's removal. Apologies. Pse skip on.

Wot ver zey zinking?

So the other day you got lucky and won a snatch strap with shackles from a motoring magazine/off-road equipment supplier. Being a conscientious offroader (more liking gadgets, really), you know that before venturing offroad and getting stuck (or someone else unstuck) - impressing everyone with your bit of kit - you must practice.

Now, not living on a smallholding or farm, there is not much scope for practicing at home – as in deliberately lodging your car in a mud hole and then yanking it out with the tractor - but at least the hard points on the vehicle can be verified and checked to see whether the shackle, e.g. does not snag some part of the bumper.

Remembering that the toolkit was supplied with a screw-in tow eye looking like it was forged from melted down WW l artillery, able to recover both Landrovers and Toyotas (being politically correct here), this is retrieved from the boot.

Out comes the plug in the front bumper; in goes the tow eye - and what a beautiful fit. Now for the rear point.

Out comes the plug in the rear bumper – but where’s the hole!!???

Random thoughts race through your mind – here is a plug and a tow hook, but where the hole should be, a steel bar is running inside the bumper skin. This calls for a calm, methodical analysis of the situation:

• This is an SUV? – Yes, the manufacturer claims so
• This is a reputable manufacturer? – Checking the badge on the grille, confirms this
• Has the manufacturer previous experience of building SUVs? - Yes
• It has a factory-fitted towbar? ……….er, yes.

Only one thing left to do now, and that is to apply the golden rule of male survival – “If everything else fails, read the manual”.

And there it is all explained clearly: If the vehicle is fitted with a factory-installed towbar, there is no provision for attaching the tow eye at the rear.

As it has already been established that this is an SUV from a reputable manufacturer who should know what they are doing, one assumes it did cross their mind that, per definition, this vehicle will go off the tar and might just get itself stuck.

Of course it did! They supplied a tow eye, didn’t they?!!

What they did not consider, is that you may either be the first vehicle in a group - this is not America, therefore the "car in front" is not ALWAYS a Toyota - stuck in an area where it is not possible for a second vehicle to pass and recover from the front. It may also be that you are in a situation that, even if aforementioned was possible, it would be better – less resultant damage - to be extracted rearwards.

As the factory towbar is of swing-out gooseneck design, the hitch cannot be removed and replaced with a proper towing attachment, as there is no plate to attach it to.

On three versions of aftermarket towbars that fellow members of my vehicle’s UK forum (UK, Oz and NZ) has fitted, access to the threaded hole behind the bumper is still possible.

Make no mistake; the design of the swing-out towbar is brilliant, with electronic indication of when it is in both the stowed and operational locked positions. It is just its integration with the vehicle and its intended purpose that is lacking.

So before you venture off into the wild blue yonder again, just check your SUV towing point access.