Be nice to each other!

[Manaz]

I've just had (read: caused) an unfortunate forums incident and insulted an experienced member (who happened to also be a moderator). Although I was technically right in my assertion, the way I asserted my position was rude and insulting (and that's to be kind to myself), and looking back on it, I came across as an arrogant self-important prick. Despite this, the moderator in question chose to talk to me privately about it (when they could well have, and potentially should have, dressed me down in public), and to even go so far as to apologise for upsetting me.

This makes me feel *really* bad, and has brought to my mind the lack of care and consideration we all show each other occasionally, and in particular, the lack of respect we give to those who spend their time keeping this site running (I didn't realise this particular person was a moderator at the time, but that doesn't change the fact that I dealt with them in an inappropriate way).

If we're not careful, we'll see a mass exodus of the experienced and knowledgeable members, and the site (and community built around it) will be the poorer for their absence (and we'll all suffer as individuals as a result).

I just hope my waking up to myself can help others to do the same, so that we keep the community rolling along in a positive direction.

[GoLfMan]

There certainly is a first for everything!

Takes guts to come out publicly and apologise. Thanks for the public display of support for the Admin team, it is a thankless task and we know that alot of our decisions aren't that popular at times, but we ARE only human.

Lets hope more members take your lead and actually REALISE how hard it is to keep this place from imploding, not just take it for granted.

Explaining why you have modified/deleted members posts isn't always easy, especially when they come out and have a go at you for it.

so even though I wasn't involved in this situation, thank you again.

keep on 'Dubbin

[99gti]

Couldn't agree with this thread more. It's not hard to be civilised on the internet, but it's very easy to be rude because there is no lash back onto your daily life from doing it.

[Mrk_Mickey]

I'm sorry to have to be slightly negative in a good post, but why do we just keep hearing about this? Nothing personal Rob, but for goodness sake guys, if we knew how to act accordingly we wouldn't be reading and replying to a behavioural thread every 3 weeks. Obviously none of the threads work cause it keeps coming up...

I've recently resorted to the ''live and let live'' mindset and to be totally honest it means I don't give a crap who says what on this forum anymore. If it's directed at me I'll have a go but there's just too many people mouthing off or stepping out of place for me to care anymore. We all say the mod job is a thankless job, but we're always thanking them; some people don't even agree with the continuity of the mod's attitude towards the rules, but that can't be spoken about because there's a massive guilt trip because the mods do it for free.

I'm only ranting because I don't understand why some of us forum members can't just listen to one of these stupid posts and get on with being friendly. Sorry if I've offended the mods, but I feel I need to voice my thoughts because I feel as though there isn't a harsh enough consequence in place for those idiots who make this forum a bad place to be.

[Manaz]

I'm sorry to have to be slightly negative in a good post, but why do we just keep hearing about this? Nothing personal Rob, but for goodness sake guys, if we knew how to act accordingly we wouldn't be reading and replying to a behavioural thread every 3 weeks. Obviously none of the threads work cause it keeps coming up...

Totally understand your point of view Mickey, and I suspect you know I'm far from a "nasty" person in general (even if I am slow to get back to you on that PC - still chasing btw)...

I had a bad day (it was a *long* day, and then I found out the cost of repairing my car had roughly tripled due to a not totally unexpected problem...), and I had a brain snap, pure and simple. I suspect it happens to the best of us, so I don't feel unique or exceptionally evil for it - but I know that despite the background, I did the wrong thing, and just hope that recounting it will help perhaps to stop even just one other brainsnap which upsets another member of the community.

[Mrk_Mickey]

Yeah that's no biggie mate everyone's allowed to make mistakes. You're right, it probbaly will help at least one bloke. I'd much rather it helped ten times that amount, cos we'd almost be done with these threads by now. Oh well, only another 223,560.5 threads to go.