I lol'd for a bit V6.0

[Flat-Mango]

The Hella Flush Stance Lowering Kit
These guys are great.

[hooba]

Be careful with the airbag..."crashed his Audi A4 and when the airbag deployed, his arm supposedly caught the steering wheel logo"

[woofy]

Maybe they can pay him for sponsorship now that he is branded with their logo.....

[Ryan_R]

I hope they're not sponsoring him to race, as it would appear that he's not very good behind the wheel

[Ryan_R]

[Blitzen]

[gecko2k]

Hilarious dude trying to sell his falcodore on gumtree. The listing was taken off gumtree, after the owner received too many phone calls. Apparently he stopped answering the phone after some time. lol

Sorry for the crappy picture, I just got this off another forum:

[static1800]

Saw a VL Commodore with a cannon exhaust and big dodgy looking chrome rims, this normally wouldn't have aroused to much attention except for the "classic not plastic" sticker on the back window.

[Blitzen]

A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside
the Centrelink Offices.

'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told by Julia Gillard to grant
you three wishes, since you've
just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children -- all costs
to be borne by Australian Tax Payers.'

The man told the fairy: 'Well, in Sri Lanka where I come from we don't
have good teeth, so I
want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.'



The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and PING !!! The
Asylum Seeker had a brand new

shining set of gold teeth in his mouth!

'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go!

The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder
'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Gold Coast with eight
bedrooms - and a Gold Visa Card

in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who
still live in Sri Lanka. I want to bring
them all over here'

PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a
three car garage, a long driveway,

a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a BMW, full
of his nephews playing their music.

'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand.

The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and
said "I want to be Australian

with Australian clothes instead of the rags and shawl, and I want to have
white skin like the Australians.'

PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubbies shorts, a
dirty Bonds T-shirt and a greasy

terry-towel hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had
disappeared from the horizon.
'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?
Where's my Visa Gold Card?'
Where is my BMW?

The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are Australian, you're entitled
to sweet F@#k all, just like the rest of us".

And she disappeared...

[Blitzen]

Alerts to threats in Europe

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

[Blitzen]

[Ryan_R]

[gareth_oau]

I can finally see my taekwondo skills coming in handy!!

[maca]

[/img]

And then you have Canada, where these:


Mean this:



Which resulted in Alex:

[brimway]

Sorry about your mishap. What are you doing driving a Hybrid?